Let's welcome our new limerwiki;
Have fun...cuz we're not very picky.
No need for perfection
Or painful direction.
But POST...or I'll feel really icky!
(Kalleh)

Fellow Wordcrafters, really...you're mean!
Your lims are appallingly lean!
Write one...maybe two?
Or even a few?
This wiki's becoming obscene!
(Kalleh)

I know. The above sounds quite whiney...

We all like to dine with fine wine;
Yet - nobody wants you to whine.
Just take the "h" out;
You're no longer a lout.
[Word talk is a hobby of mine.]
(Kalleh)

A golfer whose home is in Herts
Likes to set light to his farts.
Though his afterburn stinks,
He's propelled round the links
Much faster than most of the carts.

(Bob Hale)

Yea!!! Someone else posted a limerick. We are on a roll! Let's continue now, folks.

There once was a collie named Flirt
Who loved to go play in the dirt.
She rolled and she dug,
Digging up a big slug
That soon was to be her desert!
(Kalleh)

When Richard requests that I post,
Our chat time in GMT, most
Of our members don't care.
But my temper does flare,
And his cute little tush I could roast!
(Kalleh)

I will post one as soon as I can...
Tho' of lim'ricks I'm surely a fan
My poor brain as of yet
Up with one has not met
Whose anapests even barely, um.. scan.
(bethree5)

An equestrian fella from Spain
Standing bareback, did tricks quite insane--
As he played castanets,
He'd do half-pirouettes,
With his other limb tied to the mane. (bethree5)

Bethree has joined Wordcraft...we're glad!
Her posts here assuredly add
A richness on words
For all of us nerds,
And her lims are not really half-bad!
(Kalleh)

A girlfriend from old Casablanca
Caught the eye of a polyglot banker.
At first she said "La,"
To his "Couche avec moi,"
Till he show'r'd her with rials and franc-a's. (bethree5)

Trpimir, Dark Age Prince of Dalmatia,
A/K/A the first Duke of Croatia,
Liberated the 'burbs,
Grabbing up all the Serbs
To the border of Moesia and Dacia. (bethree5)

So I've finally come here to explore
Why Kalleh and Shu wanted more
Of those limericks they love
That don't fall from above,
But are birthed after hours of la-BORE!
(Wordmatic)



Hey, Wordmatic, so glad you have come
To our cozy l'il lim'rick-y slum!
Do yourself a big favor
Send the verse that's a labor
To OEDILF: relax & break a few rules! (keep it mum)
(bethree5)

Oh, Wordmatic, it's nice that you're here!
Our lim'ricks aren't great, I do fear.
And still we have fun
With every last one.
So linger and write with us, dear.
(Kalleh)

Now, bethree, I've a question for you;
Do you post on OEDILF and here, too?
I've not seen you there,
Though that's hardly fair
Cuz my posts over there are quite few.
(Kalleh)

No, dear Kalleh, there's nothing you've missed.
Yes, on Wordcraft you've seen the whole gist
Of my limerick mss--
OEDILF? my nemesis
Would be editors whose hems must be kissed...(bethree5)

Well, Bethree, I have to commend
Your talent...I must surely send
You off to OEDILF (pronounced ode-DILF);
Don't lie in the shilf,
But start writing, my dear little friend!
(Kalleh)

It seems Kalleh and Bethree are it,
Though BobHale did have one to submit.
And you can't count Wordmatic,
She lives in Kal's attic--
She's just tired of Kal giving her... grief.
(EAChristian)
**You see this is what is so great/bad about the wiki format. I can just go on back in and change Wordmatic into the girl she apparently always was...**

My gut tells me this is by TrossL
She's docile (though not an apostle!)
Our Tross is a hoot,
And gifted to boot!
The size of her heart is colossal!
(Kalleh)

I know that Wordmatic sounds neut,
But to call me a guy is a beaut!
You see, I'm a she,
While Shu is a he,
Who may also be Wordcraft, zehr gud!
(Wordmatic)


On the internet I’m called "beTHREE"
Which rhymes with my middle name "Leigh."
RE: my first, I need to vent.
Here’s how it went
When I renewed at our local MVD…



"Look here miss, now we’re post-9/11
"We require ID-proofs numbering 7
"Ya say yer first name’s Virginia—
"Ya can’t prove it, kin ya?
"Watterya tryin’, ta bomb us all ta heaven??"


So I called up my old mother dear

Who said, "Now don’t shed a tear--
"You see, I changed my mind
"Added Virginia, and the bind:
"I was too cheap to make it legal, I fear!"(bethree5)

Regarding my screenname of Christian;
This is no sockpuppeting fiction.
Perhaps you're too harried
To remember--I married--
My new name is no contradiction.
(EA Christian)


I thought you pronounced it beTHREE,
Though Shu has been arguing with me;
"I'm sure that it's Beth!"
(That's what he seth)
It's great to be right...tee, hee, hee!
(Kalleh)



Now Wordmatic assumes quite a lot;
She's never met Shu so she's not
Sure that he's male.
He could have a tail,
Or fins, a large mouth...like a lott! Har!Har!Wish we had a ROFL smiley!
(Kalleh) (bethree5)
(It's so great not having to worry about workshoppers! I know, lot and lott are homophones...they don't have to tell me!)



Hullo Shu-- thought you were a bassett!
Wordcraftian top dog and asset!
Beth was my childhood friend
So I did indeed intend
A moniker with that alternate facet. (bethree5)


Now, Christian, straighten me out:
Are you née TrossL? And what's this about
Contradiction to be named Christian?
Are you Jewish, Muslim or atheistian?
A clever wordcrafter, of that there's no doubt! (bethree5)

If Christian's not TrossL, I'll eat
My straw hat...though it's not very sweet!
I'm sure she is teasing,
And while she is pleasing,
This name is a bit of deceit!
(Kalleh)

(I thought I cleared up the confusion with my previous limerick. It seems I will have to spell it out for you...)
Contradiction referred to my name,
Whether Christian or Tross, I'm the same!
I married Mike C.
So a new name for me--
Deception was never my aim.
(EAChristian)

We all were just kidding, my dear;
We've not been deceived over here.
Now give Mike a big hug!
[And his "you know" a tug!]
And nibble a bit on his ear!

I tugged and a little bit more,
Now he walks with a limp and he's sore.
I just took your advice,
(You're a nurse, that's not nice)
I thought you meant, play tug-a-war!

Well I guess I’ve the mind of a bawd--
That "you-know"-tugging sounds mighty odd--
But then my equestrian dude
Whom I intended to be lewd
Got barely a blink or a nod… (bethree5)

I thought that poor Tross would have known
To be gentle...I'd better atone!
Now make it all slick,
Massaging his ****,
He'll forgive you, while giving a moan.
(Kalleh) We are bad, aren't we? :>O ;>) Yuk Yuk ! Terrible! (B3)

OMG!!! Kalleh! I'm shocked!
My perception of you has been rocked.
The word you implied
Made me laugh til I cried--
How hard was that lim to concoct?
(EAChristian)

Did you think just because she's a Doc,
All her thoughts are pristine, under lock?
No, because she's a nurse,
With First Aid in her purse,
Our friend Kalleh knows how to cuck sock!
(Wordmatic the invisible???)

I see that I've started some smut!
I'm normally pansified...but
These women are fun,
And I'm not an old nun!
(I hope you don't think I'm a slut!)
(naughty Kalleh)
Ah, to be a slut, that is a good one.
As an old mama, sure, if one could, one
Would gladly be one—
Sure sounds to me fun—
But my sex life is that of a good nun.

Oh, indeed I would count myself rich
And I swear that I’d no longer bitch
At life’s flotsam and jetsom
If I could just get some
Perhaps then I’d not be such a witch. (B35)

OK, here's a point I must now raise,
Since we four are alone here most days:
If one of the men
Shows his face here again
Zap the last 50 lines from their gaze!

The problem with men is we need 'em.
(Even though we often don't heed 'em.)
Cuz sex would be boring
Without "it" all soaring.
We humor 'em, love 'em, and feed 'em.
[Kalleh]
(We do have fun, don't we? Let's not tell the men!)

So... where do we lay blame and fault,
Since our wiki has ground to a halt?
Guess we ran out of steam,
Still, we made a good team...
Guess it's down to the pub for a malt.
(EAChristian)

Thanks, Christian, for waking us up!
We are glad to be back, aren't we? Yup!
We still want to write
Our lim'ricks all night!
[And yet from our glasses we'll sup!]

I'm wondering where all of you are...
Are you eating or driving your car?
Please come now and write!
And don't give me a fight!
If you don't, I am off to the bar!
[P.S. Hey, I added my picture!]